Bitten by the blues

Times such as these call for comfort. These are the fragmentary moments when I wish I could just melt into the prolonged and quiet embrace of another's arms.

No matter--

Internal screams

I have not finished my communications paper. I have 14--FOURTEEN--pages out of the minimum of 15 pages done. I have one more page--just one--and I cannot concentrate anymore.

Dejection: an ode--Coleridge, right? I hear ya, man. I should look it up . . .
From section VII:

Hence, viper thoughts, that coil around my mind,
Reality's dark dream!I turn from you, and listen to the wind,
Which long has raved unnoticed. What a scream
Of agony by torture lengthened out
That lute sent forth!

Oh that's good. Read it again: "reality's dark dream" -- I turn from the mundane work, the viper that coils and stifles my imagination. (I promise to get back to it again)

But for now, let me listen to that "scream / Of agony" and relish in the respite of my complaints.

My computer and I

My computer and I are getting to know one another again. "Morning's Eleven" blares and I, closed eyes, relish the sound of keys combined with "baby if you telephone, maybe I can meet you in the morning."

George Herbert Mead and Herbert Blumer beckon their Chicago-style pages; the "gesture embodies . . . the character of the immediate action that is to follow it." I wave in response, close my eyes and sing: "You're in denial, and I knoooowww. Oh what's my name? I don't know."

Mead postulates that "meanings arise in social interaction." Inter-action. To act from within--within a set of subgroups, within society, within and between you and me. Meaning. meaning what. Meaning:

chorus "oh oh oh I have it all. that i never thought I did. no no no i never thought i did. whoa oh oh oh." repeat 3xs.

meaning. it's time to get back to work, to interacting.

An exercise of missed madness

I found a picture, only it was halloween--he wore a green armored suit--with a mask, of course--possibly some character from star wars. I could see his cousins. But not him. Never him again. He remains a trace. A memory. A four-year-old forever in my mind.

A trace, an impression, a signature, a floating signifier--
the thing that tugs, that bends along cerebral synapses
and invading memories /
remembering--the image is severed, signfier and signified do not equal the sign; they do not equal
as in
they do not exist
rather, he resists - is resistant - remains hidden
undisclosed, a secret thing unrevealed
veiled.
the tugging prompts retrospection, reflection, re-flex-ion (wince)

today the traces smell strong like kharma
"Breathe Me"

graphs graphesus inscribed inscriptions imprinted impressions
delayed--pushed back--temporarily removed
tatoos are traces, faded
the spectre of which remains
undisclosed
and that THERE
here over and turned
over re turned again
sent and searched--missed
undelivered/envois